


cicatrix

by boxtactics



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Insecurity, M/M, Mentions of Big Boss, it's real short it's just to get some thoughts rolling around, mgsv spoilers, somewhat dialogue-heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 23:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17590037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxtactics/pseuds/boxtactics
Summary: Before this, Kaz had never truly realized how many scars V had.





	cicatrix

At approximately 0300, he arrived back at Mother Base. The mission hadn't been particularly strenuous, but it lasted longer than anticipated due to unforeseen complications. Neither Ocelot nor Kaz had ceased communication with V until Pequod had confirmed that they were past the coast. Once he deemed that their work was complete, Ocelot removed his headset and rose from his slightly-worn swivel chair. Sighing, he glanced at his co-officer.

 

"I suppose we're done here."

 

The sight of Kaz softly snoring on the table in front of them aggravated him somewhat, but he would never bring himself to admit that. Seemingly, he had been asleep since the OK had been given. Ocelot left the room silently.

 

By the time V had reached, Kaz had already been seated there for half an hour. After a brief "See you soon" to his ever-reliable pilot, he began walking the usual route to his room. Light seeping out from under the door of the comms room had led him to discovering Kaz. Upon seeing his XO sprawled out with his arm supporting his head, V took it upon himself to hoist him over his shoulder and carry both Kaz and his crutch back where they belonged at such an hour. However, despite how gentle he attempted to be, Kaz still stirred when he was moved.

 

Still groggy, he was completely unaware of his current situation. "Huh? ... Boss, is that you?"

 

"Shh. It's late."

 

Kaz stifled a yawn as he frowned. "I can walk."

 

When V didn't respond, he pouted and pulled on the man's fatigues with his left arm.

 

"Say something."

 

"Something."

 

"アホ."

 

V received a punch to the shoulder for his reply.

 

* * *

 

 

Although the walk to his room was relatively short, Kaz had almost dozed off a second time with his face buried in V's neck.

 

"We're here."

 

The blonde released the substantial yawn he held back earlier. "I know that."

 

After he unlocked the door, V stooped down beside Kaz's bed to let him down. _An all-access keycard always comes in handy._

 

"Thanks for not leaving me there, I guess."

 

The older man grumbled a reply and went to sit on the edge of the bed, but was quickly stopped by a gloved hand pushing against his back.

 

"And what do you think you're doing?"

 

V looked back at him. "What?"

 

Kaz clicked his tongue at his lack of self-awareness. "Your clothes. Do you really think I'm going to let you sit on my clean sheets with those bloodstains." As V immediately began to strip, he heard a sound that reminded him of when he decided to surprise Kaz with semi-burnt breakfast after he had gotten back to base early on a Sunday morning: surprise tinged with appreciation.

 

"Better?"

 

"God, Snake. Yes. Sit down."

 

Wearing nothing but his underwear, V made to follow his sub-commander's request. As he sat down, Kaz shed his jacket and loosened his tie with minimal difficulty.

 

"Give me your hand."

 

"Kaz--"

 

He sighed. "Please."

 

V reached back while Kaz scooched closer to him, closing the distance between them. The stillness of the room's air was disturbed only by their calm breaths. Kaz brought V's hand up to his mouth and kissed his scarred knuckles one by one, closing his eyes and sighing. "I'm glad you're safe." Maybe it was because of the fatigue, or possibly due to the potential outcome of the mission, but it was hard to ignore how the barriers Kaz had so meticulously constructed were slowly breaking down. He slowly drew oblong circles around the wounds-- some more healed than not-- on V's thighs.

 

"This isn't like you." He looked down into Kaz's unobstructed eyes; his aviators were forgotten on the table of the communications room.

 

"If that's what you think."

 

V kissed his forehead and leaned into him. "You're not saying what you want to."

 

"It's just," Kaz let his eyes wander, resting on the darkest corner of the room. "You have so many." Kaz languidly slid his palm down V's chest. "More than anyone could ask for... All except that one." He chuckled softly, almost inaudibly. "Isn't it ironic? That everything we did, we could've done, left us with these," He drew his arm in a lazy arc, gesturing to the both of them. "Scars." The heavy implication of Kaz's statement rested like an anvil on their hearts and minds. The "him" that didn't find its way out of his mouth, the "him" in both of their daily thoughts, would never cease to exist until they did.

 

"Why?"

 

"Why what?"

 

"I don't know, just-- Why? Why'd he leave me here? Why'd he leave us here? Was I not good enough? Was there more I could have--"

 

V cut off his unanswerable questions by sealing Kaz's mouth with his own before what remained of a tender moment crumbled because of something, someone, they'd rather forget. They stayed like that for only three seconds, what V thought was enough time to let Kaz reassemble his thoughts. When they drew apart, he rumbled lowly.

 

"I don't know if you remember, but it's almost daybreak. If you still want to have this conversation when you're actually lucid, I'd be fine with that." He gave Kaz a small smile. "But for now," With a light grunt, V pulled him up by his torso and moved him further onto the bed. "Sleep."

 

"But--"

 

"Sleep, Kaz."

 

"Fine. You know, I'm aware that basically everyone in R&D calls me a mother hen," He pulled his comforter over his shoulder. "But I think they gave that nickname to the wrong person."

 

V laughed quietly and collected his uniform from the floor. "Maybe they did."

 

Seven seconds of silence followed his statement before Kaz spoke up again.

 

"You know it wouldn't exactly be on the up-and-up to let whoever's on night rotation see you leaving my room in nothing but boxer-briefs, right?"

 

"Yeah."

 

He squinted at V. The two of them stared at each other.

 

"Just get in already, Christ."

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the abrupt ending but you know what maybe both kaz and v are pining for john cause hey you wouldn't accept dying for a dude you just wanna have a beer with on casual friday right? right??


End file.
